Your Bill?

Will people like this guy be the only ones left with a job after AI takes over?  

Some predict that by 2040, more than half of all jobs will be replaced or radically transformed by artificial intelligence.  

But, not to worry.  As Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe says, "People who can adapt, solve problems, and show up consistently will always be in demand — AI or not."  

We've been here before.  Blacksmiths who once forged horseshoes and horseless carriages became auto mechanics and fabricators.  Telegraph operators transitioned into radio and telecom technicians.  Factory workers now manage and maintain the robotic systems that once threatened to replace them.  Entire industries powered by AI—and the jobs that go with them—haven't even been invented yet.

Red Meat

I love a good ribeye, and if eating red meat is unhealthy, then I guess I'll take my chances.

Reminds me of the guy who asked his doctor, "Will live into my 80s?"

"Depends," said the doctor. "Do you smoke? Drink? Use drugs? Spend time in the sun? Drive fast cars? Chase women? Eat red meat?"

"No, no, no, I don't do any of that," he replied.

The doctor was astonished.  "Then...what do you have to live for?"

Herding Cats

Seems like this should be mandatory coursework!

It takes serious skill and experience for an architect to wrangle a posse of consultants—or for a contractor to ride herd on a gaggle of subcontractors—all while keeping the owner happy and the project on time and on budget.  They have to be part diplomat, part babysitter, and part juggler...and occasionally part firefighter, therapist, and magician—all while maintaining the illusion that everything is perfectly under control.  

Not At Work Anymore

This cartoon is wrong—everyone knows all construction workers go to Heaven!

Construction work is enjoyable and rewarding...most of the time.  But some jobs can feel an awful lot like hell.  

In my younger days, I worked for my dad's small construction company.  One summer during high school, I spent several days in the blazing sun breaking up sidewalks with a sledge hammer, hauling the broken chunks of concrete in a wheelbarrow, loading them onto a pickup by hand—and then unloading them the same way.  It was exhausting, dirty, and miserable work.  Coincidentally, that's also when I started thinking seriously about a different career path.

As the old proverb goes, "Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life."  Unless that job involves breaking up sidewalk in August.
 

Soft Tacos Tonight!

Camping is good for the soul. There’s nothing quite like sleeping under the stars, nestled in a warm bag as a cool, pine-scented breeze drifts through the trees. I’ve spent plenty of nights like that, with nothing overhead but a sky full of stars—and so far, I’ve only been eaten by mosquitoes.

Still Fits!

Most of us put on a few pounds as we age, but it happens so gradually we barely notice until we try to squeeze into an old favorite buried in the back of the closet.  And in that moment, reality clings tighter than a pair of skinny jeans after a 7-day cruise buffet.  

Except for this lady—one of the rare few who can still claim to have (at least part of) her high school figure.

Desk is Empty

...or is it a sign of genius?

Does a little chaos foster creativity, or does it hinder the ability to focus? 

I need a tidy and orderly workspace.  Those who find chaos stimulating may say I'm just too lazy to look for my stuff.  

They're probably not wrong.

Management Experience

 

A wise manager knows that creative ideas come when people are feeling relaxed and stress-free, and a little goofing off in the middle of an intense work day can recharge the creative juices and actually make you more productive.

Speaking of working smarter, not harder, reminds me of a meeting between a salesman and another wise manager.  "This tool will cut your workload in half," says the salesman.  "Great!" says the manager, "I'll take two."

Be Serious!

They say there are four stages of life:

1.    You believe in Santa.
2.    You don't believe in Santa.
3.    You are Santa.
4.    You look like Santa.  

Not sure what stage this guy is in, but one thing's for sure—he knows that if you don't ask, you don't get.  

Here's hoping you get everything you're asking for this Christmas, big or small.

Merry Christmas!

Regular or Smoked?

Baked in the oven.  Smoked in the backyard.  Deep fried on the patio.  Each year, turkeys across the nation are put through all sorts of cooking experiments in the name of Thanksgiving tradition and, of course, bragging rights.  No matter whether it's a culinary masterpiece or a bit of a misstep, one thing's for sure: it’s never really about the turkey. It’s about gathering with loved ones around the table (to critique the turkey) and the memories you create together.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Capped a Pipe

Contractors killing power, sinking piles, leveling ground, knocking out supports, gutting buildings, and hanging ducts.  Developers slashing budgets and inspectors cracking down.  Architects cutting sections and taking out square footage.

A lot of shady stuff going on in this industry.

Messy and Expensive

But despite their quirks, engineers are also honest, hard-working, and stress-resistant.  They get excited about things no one else cares about, and they can solve problems you didn't know you had in ways you don't understand.  It may be hard to live with them, but modern civilized society cannot live without them.

Should Really Meet Frank

 

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and clearly the beauty of some things is enhanced for those with poor vision.  Take, for example, the man who sued the hospital after his wife had surgery there because she was no longer attracted to him.  Turns out his wife had cataract surgery, and all the hospital did was fix her eyesight.

Reminds me of a lawyer, a priest, and an engineer who were golfing buddies.  One day they found themselves stuck behind an agonizingly slow group of the worst golfers they'd ever seen.  Out of frustration, they storm into the clubhouse to complain.

"They're retired firefighters who lost their eyesight saving orphans from a burning building.  They love to golf, so we let them play for free," said the manager.

"As a man of God, I feel terrible for getting angry at those men," said the priest, ashamed of himself.  "At my next sermon, I'll pass around a collection plate for their families."

"And I'll have my law firm open a case to get them restitution for their injuries," said the lawyer.

The engineer says, "Why can't they just play at night?"
 

I Have All Your Passwords!

Data theft, cloud breeches, malware attacks, phishing--all on the rise and expected to get worse as AI technology improves and cyber criminals grow in sophistication and boldness.  The global cost of cyber crime is expected to reach 10.5 trillion annually by 2025.  

If only we could beat these *@#! criminals at their own game.  Will someone please invent a "reverse malware" malware that detects an attack from a threat actor and immediately launches a reverse attack, infiltrates their network, drains their bank accounts, deletes all their files, destroys their computers, breaks both their legs, and sends law enforcement to their location?

Or better yet, maybe just send a beekeeper. 

No Sense of Direction

We don't need a sense of direction or a back seat driver nearly as much these days since we all have GPS now.  In the old days, GPS was a paper map bought at the corner gas station or torn from a phone book and the back seat driver was responsible for holding the map and saying things like, "You just missed our exit!" or, "I see the problem now--had the map upside down."

A backseat driver and paper map would have come in handy several years ago when I left a meeting and used GPS to navigate to my next meeting.  I drove for miles blindly following the GPS directions, finally arriving 20 minutes later at my destination: the building right next door to the one I just left!

Not Like I Did Anything

 

They say that laziness is really just resting before you get tired.

Did you hear about the lazy engineer who was fired from his engineering job so he opened a medical clinic?  He put a sign above his door that said, "Any ailment cured for $500 or we pay you $1,000."

One day, the director of a competing clinic decides to expose the engineer as a charlatan and pays him a visit. 

Director: "I've lost my sense of taste"

Engineer: "Nurse, put 3 drops from that pink vial on the patient's tongue."

Director: "This is gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations!  Your taste has been restored!  That'll be $500."

A few days later, the director comes back and tries again, this time claiming that he has memory loss.

Engineer: "Nurse, put 3 drops from that pink vial on the patient's tongue."

Director: "But that's gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations!  Your memory loss has been cured!  That'll be $500."

The director returns again several days later determined to get his money back.  "I've lost my vision," he says.

Engineer: "I've got no medicine for that, so here's your $1,000," and he hands the director a one dollar bill.

Director: "But this is only $1!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! Your vision is back! That'll be $500."

Just Too Sick

This guy's got the idea.  So does his boss.  We all need to find a healthy balance between work and play.   

Reminds me of the tweet by @samuel_pollen about how some of us treat personal time away from the office: 

European out-of-offices: “I’m away camping for the summer. Email again in September.”

American out-of-offices: “I have left the office for two hours to undergo kidney surgery but you can reach me on my cell anytime.”

Quick with a Shootin' Iron

 

Reminds me of a help wanted ad for volunteer firefighters: 

Help Wanted

No Pay.

Odd Hours

Cool Hat

This cowpoke may be a bit confused, but he is enthusiastic and looks to be trainable.  They should hire him. 

Everyone knows it's a challenge these days to find the right people.  Seems like the good ones are all happily employed somewhere else.  Desperation can sometimes lead businesses to make questionable hires of people whose only skills are from watching a YouTube tutorial.  To those businesses, Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, offers this wisdom: "When in doubt, don't hire. Keep looking."

Affordable Home

Finally, something affordable!

Rising prices combined with higher interest rates and a shortage of available homes have made it incredibly challenging for prospective buyers—particularly first-time buyers—to afford a home.  This poor house hunter looks a lot like the current state of the economy: his hair is in recession and his stomach is a victim of inflation.

Can't Tell You How Much That Meant

In business and in life, keeping confidences is critical to build and maintain trust, and those who can be trusted to keep confidences are valuable.  The person who says, "I promised to keep this confidential, but..." can't be trusted with a secret, and everyone knows it.  Reminds me of a song lyric from my grandpa's favorite TV show, Hee Haw: "You'll never hear one of us repeating gossip, so you better be sure and listen close the first time!"