Your Plan Wasn't Aggressive Enough!

Some people just can't be pleased. I say, that's their problem, not yours.  This guy seems like the type that appreciates nothing and complains about everything.  If you base your happiness on him and his actions, you'll never be happy.  Don't leave your happiness in his hands.

If you want to be the best, then aim high, conquer your fear, be bold.  In the words of Theodore Roosevelt:  "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,…"

Built It Anyway...

I know that sometimes it really is easier to ask forgiveness than permission, but it can also come back to bite you.  In the case of building without a permit and hoping to ask forgiveness later, it's not uncommon for people to spend many times more to correct an un-permitted project once they get caught than it would have cost them had they just gotten a permit from the start.

The Boss Told Me To Have A Good Day...

Probably the same guy who's not even out of bed yet and already he can't wait to get home from work tomorrow.  He's been written up for being late five times in one week and says, "Great!  That means it's Friday."  He thinks, "Work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?"  Chances are, he won't get far in life.

The idea that if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life is mostly true, but I love (most of) what I do and yet, many days still feel a lot like work.  I'm fine with that, because it's also true that opportunity is dressed in overalls and looks (and feels) like work.

I Used to Be Indecisive...

The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision.  On some projects, it's the design schedule that's "squished" by the inability of the owner to make a critical decision--regardless of when the owner finally makes up their mind so the design can move forward, the submittal deadline doesn't change.

...seems like I should write more, but I can't decide what.

Artificial Intelligence

Experts say AI will change the world more than anything in history - including replacing about half of current jobs.  Those jobs predicted to be "safe" require the qualities that make us uniquely human such as social intelligence.

Hmmmmmm.  High IQ but low social intelligence...  Should we engineers be worried?

This cartoon kinda reminds me of the line by Detective Spooner (Will Smith) in the movie I, Robot: "You're the dumbest smart person I have ever met in my life!"  Just about every group of friends has someone like this guy.  If you don't think there's one in your group, it's probably you! 

Just a Quick 15-Minute Project

A wise man once said, "All's well that ends." --it's just that some projects never seem to end. 

This reminds me of the time when I was a young engineer, I would sometimes be summoned to the senior engineer's office for a "really quick project I need you to do".  "This shouldn't take you more than a few minutes," he'd say.  Those projects almost always took a lot more than a few minutes--sometimes many hours--and I'd often do much of the work on my own time since I didn't want to appear to be a slacker.  Finally, I'd set the completed project on the senior engineer's desk (and enter just a few minutes for the project on my time sheet).  I eventually came to realize that this was more of a genius ploy to either make sure I worked quickly or to get free labor, I'm not sure which.  In either case, it worked!

I'll Change Your Title

Do employees need job titles?  Are titles outdated?  Do titles encourage internal competition and stifle cooperation?  Do they disrupt productivity and innovation?  Are they limiting or confining, or do they help clarify roles and responsibilities?  A hundred people would probably have a hundred different opinions.  There are countless articles on this topic by seemingly well-informed writers–some in favor and some strongly opposed.  With all the conflicting advice, how to decide what to do? 

What I do know is this guy probably should re-think his strategy for asking for a raise.

Who Just Joined?

Remind you of the first 10 minutes of your last conference call?  You'd think we'd all have this down by now.  I don't know what's more annoying - the five people who each join late and want to be caught up while everyone else waits, the person who has no idea how to work the mute, or the guy who is obviously taking the call in the restroom. 

For a painfully accurate yet hilarious YouTube video mocking the "fun" of conference calls, click here.

Online vs. Reality

This guy may hold a clue to why some of your Instagram friends have such a perfect life.  Experts say nearly two thirds of us feel inadequate when we compare our lives to others online ...and keeping up with perfect friends is expensive and difficult--until now.  I've found an easy solution for those who would rather avoid the trouble of actually living a perfect life: LifeFaker.com* where their slogan is "Life isn't perfect. Your profile should be".  LifeFaker offers enviable pictures you can buy and post as your own.  I'm considering their "I Own All The Things" package.

*(LifeFaker.com is actually seeking to raise awareness of the negative impact social media can have on our mental health, and if you try to buy a photo package you'll be redirected to a different site that talks about unhealthy social media behaviors and how to change them.)

Early Recruiting Strategy

I used to joke that I should just hire a bunch of teenagers (since they already know everything), but with today's shortage of qualified labor maybe this is a better way to get a jump on the competition.

You've got to get in front of potential recruits very, very early these days if you hope to land some of the best talent--even average candidates seem to have a job offer locked down long before they graduate.

Decided to Give You a Quarter

That's right...  A quarter of it!  I know, I know.  No need to thank me.  You deserve it!

Seriously, though, the very first million dollars I get that I have no use for is ALL going to you.  Then you can follow Steve Martin's advice on how to be a millionaire and never pay taxes:  "First get a million dollars".

Complete Memory Loss

One more reason to make sure you have a contract before proceeding.  It's not uncommon to be asked to do additional work before a proper agreement is in place by someone who urgently needs your help and assures you that "We'll take care of the paperwork later".  ...And it's also not that uncommon for selective amnesia to strike that person after you've solved their problem and they no longer need you.  If you've been burned by this scenario more than a few times, perhaps it's you who needs his head examined.

What's the Difference?

Here's a summary of a recent phone call:

"Brent... very sorry... gave the job to the other guy because his fee was lower... been a nightmare... over budget ...way behind schedule... can you re-do the engineering now and help get us back on track?"

This scenario happens all too often when a consultant is hired based solely on price.  And this poor guy learned the hard way that nothing is more expensive than hiring a cheap engineer.

Good design requires adequate time and the right people to do it. Cut-rate design may still "work", but probably not as well, and the overall cost of the project can be many times greater than the small difference in fee between the best designer and the cheap guy.

So... This Month You Want Us To Innovate

Is it just me?  I don't think I can handle another buzzword-laden "Five Things Every _____ Must Do" article.  Like a fad diet, a person could flit from one of these "must-do" lists to another without ever making any real progress or improvement.  Under the surface, a lot of these self-proclaimed "groundbreaking" must-do lists look more like old fashioned good business practices and common sense and wrapped in a few of the latest buzzwords.  I believe that principles of good business practice don't need buzzwords, they never go out of style, and they haven't changed for millennia.

A Letter To Certify Your Letter

Why do some people seem to feel that the more times the engineer signs his name the better?  If they had their way, engineers would spend the majority of their day signing their name to certify that they certify that what they already certified was certified.

This one was inspired by a state inspector on a certain California medical project who literally demanded something quite similar to the caption of this cartoon.  And despite how ridiculous the demand, we were forced to acquiesce to keep the project moving.

...The Rest Was Just Wasted

Mine is power tools.  In fact, a sticker on a tool cabinet in my workshop says, "My greatest fear is that when I die my wife will sell my tools for what I said I paid for them."

Inspiration for this one was stolen from my brother-in-law who is a pilot for Fed Ex and has been obsessed with flying his entire life.  He wore a t-shirt to a family reunion that said, "I've spent 99% of my money on aviation, the rest was just wasted."

Rates Only Up 18% This Year

Did I miss it? 

When was the "affordable" part of the Affordable Care Act actually supposed to kick in?  Our health insurance renewal rates continue to go up every year, and it's workers and their families who are stuck getting less and less for more and more.

Studies I've seen claim that insurance companies spend only about 80% of our healthcare dollar on actual medical treatment.  They pocket the other 20% to cover the "value" they add to our healthcare - things like slick marketing, bureaucracy, claims delayers/deniers, lawyers, and profit I suppose.

An Engineer in Hell

The story goes that an engineer dies and is mistakenly sent to hell.  Before long, he's dissatisfied with the poor conditions in hell and he goes to work making improvements.  Soon hell no longer feels much like hell and the engineer has become very popular with the residents.  One day God calls down to Satan to see how things are going in hell.  "Everything's great!" Satan replies.  "We have air conditioning and cable TV and flushing toilets.  Who knows what my engineer will come up with next."  "You've got an engineer?!" says God.  "There's been a mistake!  Send him up here immediately or I'll sue!"  Satan smirks and replies, "And where do you think you're gonna find a lawyer?"

Gonna Make Engineering Great Again!

The fact is, the development and construction business is booming again, and that's great for all of us.

An actual statement attributed to Donald Trump involving engineers: "...My uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart..."

Credit for this one goes to Tom Allen from our Irvine office.  He and Scott Jones were discussing ways to make our company "Engineertopia" when Tom said, "we need to make engineering great again!"  Just then they looked at each other with "Eureka" expressions, slapped high five, and sent me their idea for a cartoon.

For a related cartoon of people who (just coincidentally, of course) resemble Bernie and Hillary, click here.

Hierarchy of Urgency

Which one gets top priority:  critical?  urgent?  ASAP?  Immediately?  And what if there's a bunch of exclamation points?  Do you handle plain old "ASAP" before you get to "ASAP!!"?  Then what about ASAP!!! or ASAP!!!!?  If ASAP means "as soon as possible", what if it's not possible because you're working on something that's "needed yesterday"?  And if it's needed yesterday and yesterday is gone, does that mean it's no longer needed?

For more "heckuva rush" cartoons, click here.