An Engineer in Hell

The story goes that an engineer dies and is mistakenly sent to hell.  Before long, he's dissatisfied with the poor conditions in hell and he goes to work making improvements.  Soon hell no longer feels much like hell and the engineer has become very popular with the residents.  One day God calls down to Satan to see how things are going in hell.  "Everything's great!" Satan replies.  "We have air conditioning and cable TV and flushing toilets.  Who knows what my engineer will come up with next."  "You've got an engineer?!" says God.  "There's been a mistake!  Send him up here immediately or I'll sue!"  Satan smirks and replies, "And where do you think you're gonna find a lawyer?"

CYA PPE

CYA (cover your a_ _ or as I say it, cover your "anatomy") is like the ridiculous warning label on a microwave oven that says, "NOT TO BE USED FOR DRYING PETS".  The reason for this CYA PPE is usually blamed on our "litigious society", though statistics seem to indicate that we may not be as litigious as we think.  Either way - reality or perception - the fear of litigation can lead to excessive caution, absurd warning labels, and a lot of CYA.   And when people act defensively for the sole reason of avoiding liability, it costs everyone time and money.

In a Spirit of Partnering and Trust

The joke is that everyone leaves a "partnering" meeting at the kick-off of a project all smiles as "partners", but as soon as something goes wrong, all that goes out the window.

This One's From Our Attorney...

It takes some attorneys five times as many words as a normal person to say the same thing. That could be one reason law school is three years instead of a semester and a half.

Then These People Showed Up

My thanks to activists and protesters everywhere for providing the inspiration.

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No fur-bearing animals were harmed in the making of this cartoon. We do not test our cartoons on animals.

Just Sign Here

It's amazing the ridiculously unfair contract terms some companies try to demand that their consultants and subs agree to - things like:

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"[insert your name here] shall take all liability and be responsible for any and all costs for anything and everything bad that could possibly happen, even if it has nothing whatsoever to do with anything done by [insert your name here], blah blah blah ten pints of blood blah blah blah pound of flesh blah blah blah firstborn child blah blah blah hand over everything you own..."