An Engineer in Hell

The story goes that an engineer dies and is mistakenly sent to hell.  Before long, he's dissatisfied with the poor conditions in hell and he goes to work making improvements.  Soon hell no longer feels much like hell and the engineer has become very popular with the residents.  One day God calls down to Satan to see how things are going in hell.  "Everything's great!" Satan replies.  "We have air conditioning and cable TV and flushing toilets.  Who knows what my engineer will come up with next."  "You've got an engineer?!" says God.  "There's been a mistake!  Send him up here immediately or I'll sue!"  Satan smirks and replies, "And where do you think you're gonna find a lawyer?"

How Do I Block All Emails...

My in-box size could be cut in half if I could just stop all those emails with the "good news" about my inheritance of millions from some long lost rich Nigerian  relative - all I gotta do is send a copy of my ID and bank account number "entirely risk free" to Barrister so-and-so and he'll "secure the funds" and wire me my rightful share post haste!  Who are these people?  And more importantly, who are the numskulls who respond to these emails?  Somebody must be doing it.  It's probably this guy.

About Half Work Here

There's the occasional news story where they discover some government worker who collects pay and benefits but hasn't shown up for work in years.  Much more common is the person who retires on the job - they quit and stay - show up for work but do nothing.

Despite the potential for abuse, I've never been one for time clocks or tight supervision.  I've always believed that the best people don't need to be tightly managed - just give them the objective, provide training and resources and a good environment, set up ways to measure performance and success, and then get out of their way.

A Quick Meeting Prior to the Preliminary Meeting...

We all know that it takes a really good meeting to be better than no meeting at all.  This guy is definitely not one of us!

A few years ago, I came across the book "Death by Meeting" by Patrick Lencioni and had to buy it.  I can't remember a thing the book said, but the title was irresistable.

Credit for this cartoon idea goes to Brent Bauman, Architectural Project Manager at Pulte Group Southern California Division.

Who Do We Blame?

Am I the only one who's seen this?

Construction is a tough business. No design is ever perfect and no building is ever perfectly built. Most of the time everyone understands this and the design and construction teams cooperate and get the job done.  But occasionally, when stuff goes wrong, fingers start to point - usually at whoever's not in the room.

For a related cartoon, click here.

Work From Home

I know lots of people do it, but I've never worked from home so I can only assume that this cartoon is accurate.  I do know that if I worked from home I'd be dressed verrrrry comfortably - like this guy (minus the tie).  Let's just hope they don't ask him to stand up and introduce himself to the team.

For another work from home cartoon click here.

Sleep Mode

It's hard to blame this guy.  Sleep mode, low energy windows, zero energy homes and offices, energy saver mode... makes me tired just thinking about it.  Why don't they have a "high energy" mode or a "stand back 'cause this thing's about to go crazy" mode on that stuff?  Just think of the increase in productivity - after a heavy lunch or about 3:00 in the afternoon or on Fridays, hit that high energy mode button and everyone in the office instantly feels like they just drank a quart of Red Bull.

For more "low energy" cartoons, click here.

CYA PPE

CYA (cover your a_ _ or as I say it, cover your "anatomy") is like the ridiculous warning label on a microwave oven that says, "NOT TO BE USED FOR DRYING PETS".  The reason for this CYA PPE is usually blamed on our "litigious society", though statistics seem to indicate that we may not be as litigious as we think.  Either way - reality or perception - the fear of litigation can lead to excessive caution, absurd warning labels, and a lot of CYA.   And when people act defensively for the sole reason of avoiding liability, it costs everyone time and money.

In a Spirit of Partnering and Trust

The joke is that everyone leaves a "partnering" meeting at the kick-off of a project all smiles as "partners", but as soon as something goes wrong, all that goes out the window.

This One's From Our Attorney...

It takes some attorneys five times as many words as a normal person to say the same thing. That could be one reason law school is three years instead of a semester and a half.