Are These Free-Range?

Is it just me, or is all this food labeling getting out of control?  

I know, some people have genuine allergy issues and need to make life-and-death decisions, but do we really need a box of cashews to say, "May Contain Nuts"?  Or a carton of orange juice to say "Gluten Free"?  Or "No Cholesterol" on a bag of carrots?  Is it ok to snack on gummy bears when you're trying to slim down because they're "100% Fat Free"?  And wouldn't it be a shorter list to only label what is NOT known to the State of California to cause cancer?

Nothing is Impossible

 

Clearly it's not impossible to do nothing.  This guy is proof.  But there are those who actually do the impossible.

In 1895, heavier than air flight was impossible; then the Wright Brothers showed up on a beach at Kitty Hawk.  A sub- 4 minute mile was impossible until Roger Bannister proved otherwise in 1954.  In 1926, Philo Farnsworth's television invention was dismissed as financially impossible and a waste of time.  Edison's electric light bulb was described as a conspicuous failure, critics claimed the horseless carriage would never come into common use, and in 1949 it was claimed that we had reached the limits of what was possible to achieve with computer technology.

In the words of Nelson Mandela, "It always seems impossible until it's done."

...the Revised Design

Good design requires the right people to do it, along with adequate time and budget.  A low-budget or rush design may still "work", but all too often problems during construction, change orders, and delays can make the final cost of the project many times greater than any up-front savings in design fee.

I've seen many well-intentioned but misguided souls willing to invest millions in their project, who believe they're saving money by skimping on the design phase.  It's a lesson that usually only has to be learned once - the hard way - but eventually everyone discovers that the bitterness of poor design remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.

Delta 4

Maybe this is how it was done?  ...seems plausible to me.

I'm no expert on this, but from what I've been able to observe, the vast majority of the human race appear to be a Delta 3 model.  I do know one or two people who I suspect of being a Delta 1 or Delta 2.  It seems only a select few have advanced to Delta 4.

Who Do We Blame?

Am I the only one who's seen this?

Construction is a tough business. No design is ever perfect and no building is ever perfectly built. Most of the time everyone understands this and the design and construction teams cooperate and get the job done.  But occasionally, when stuff goes wrong, fingers start to point - usually at whoever's not in the room.

For a related cartoon, click here.

Try Plotting at a Smaller Scale

If only it was this easy!  It reminds me of the carpenter who cut the board twice and it was still too short.

...and the related story my dad used to tell of the new guy on the construction crew who cuts the board too short so his boss sends him to the superintendent to ask for a "board stretcher".

...or the electrician who instructs his apprentice to "wipe up the voltage drops".

...or the engineer who's told his design is an ID 10 T solution.

...or the new attorney who's sent to fetch a stack of "verbal agreement forms".

Expert Advice

Like the old saying goes, you don't have to be crazy to be in this industry, but it helps.

I feel like I can relate to this guy - especially when I'm in Lowes or Home Depot (my favorite stores) browsing for seemingly unrelated parts for some creative new home improvement project (one of my favorite things to do).   Once, and only once, I made the mistake of trying to explain to a helpful Lowes employee what I was doing.  "So you're gonna take this electrical conduit and pound the ends flat and bolt it to this thing and use it as a what?" The more I tried to explain, the more perplexed he became.  It didn't take me long to realize that whenever anyone asks me if I need help, the best course of action is to quickly say, "Nope, I'm good thanks", and then go back to talking to myself.

For another cartoon relating to the mental health of design professionals, click here.

My Plan...

We need to get our politicians talking about the stuff that really matters - like this!  It reminds me of the speech Pedro Sanchez gave when he was running for class president in the movie Napoleon Dynamite:  "If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. Thank you."

Seriously, I'm grateful to those brave souls who are willing to run for public office.  Let's just hope those who get elected remember that they're public servants, not the people's master.

CYA PPE

CYA (cover your a_ _ or as I say it, cover your "anatomy") is like the ridiculous warning label on a microwave oven that says, "NOT TO BE USED FOR DRYING PETS".  The reason for this CYA PPE is usually blamed on our "litigious society", though statistics seem to indicate that we may not be as litigious as we think.  Either way - reality or perception - the fear of litigation can lead to excessive caution, absurd warning labels, and a lot of CYA.   And when people act defensively for the sole reason of avoiding liability, it costs everyone time and money.

Saw it on YouTube

How'd anyone ever make it before YouTube?  This guy's got the idea - why waste your time on a degree and on-the-job training when you can bypass all that stuff and just watch how to do it on YouTube!  If someone ever posts some YouTube videos on how to engineer a building, I might be out of a job. 

Thought He'd Save Money

The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.

This poor guy learned the hard way that saving pennies by hiring the lowest priced designer could greatly increase bottom-line costs.  Quality design requires adequate time and the right people to do it.  Cut-rate design may still "work", but often the final cost of the project is many times greater than the small difference in fee between the best designer and the cheap guy.

For a bunch of similar cartoons poking fun at the notion that cheap is really cheaper, click on the "Cheap" category link on the right sidebar.

"There is nothing more expensive than hiring cheap engineers."

                               - Bob Sheeran, Xavier University

Volume's waaaay up!

It feels like we have to compete with this guy a lot more than we should.  He's like the farmer who grew watermelons for $2.00 each, sold them for $1.75, and decided the way he could make more money was to get a bigger truck!

What Are You Thinking?

Occasionally builders complain (and sadly, sometimes justifiably so) that an engineer or architect they know can draw pretty pictures, but he doesn't have a clue how to actually build anything.  And it's worse when that engineer doesn't know he doesn't know and insists that the builder just "build it how it's drawn." 

...and it's even worse if the engineer can only communicate in "engineerese".

On the flip side, it's not uncommon to hear an engineer gripe that the builder on such and such a project needs a lot of "hand holding", or that he fires off dozens of "duh" RFIs which the engineer could answer with, "Did you not even look at the drawings?"

It's a love-hate relationship.  Depending on the day, mostly love.

It IS An Emergency!

You can't blame the poor guy.  He's got his trailer onsite and his crews and equipment ready to go.  All he needs now is the construction drawings so he can git 'er dun. 

Unfortunately, the design team is still revising the revised version of the last revisions that will now need to be revised once the owner stops changing his mind.  ...again.

For more "It's an emergency!" cartoons, click here or here.

Going Manual

These days, if the computer's down, nothing gets done.  Thankfully, there's Etch A Sketch - the pioneer in flat panel monitors.  ...and they're sleek and energy efficient!  Besides, if you're doing a piping diagram, it looks a lot like Etch A Sketch anyway.  

This guy's like the solitaire-playing receptionists who had to "go manual" with actual playing cards since their computers were down. 

GOT GRAY?

Sometimes you need some "gray hair" on your project.  After all, they've supposedly already seen it all, done it all, and made all their mistakes long ago - on someone else's project.

Gray hair is hair you can trust - and having lots of it (or for some, at least remnants of it) can be an advantage for us humble engineers.  I was "blessed" with enough gray hair in my mid- twenties that I could easily pass for someone ten years older.  More than 20 years later, I still claim to be in my "late, late twenties".  It must be a genetic trait (the age claim I mean) - my mom still turns 21 again every March 6th.

This cartoon was inspired by a project with a particularly cantankerous owner's rep who insisted we put "more gray hair" on his project - after all, how could some young whippersnapper with a full head of "immature" hair, an engineering degree, and "only" a decade of experience with similar successful projects possibly be trusted?

Good news for that owner's rep:  dealing with him caused the young whippersnappers to sprout a few gray hairs of their own.

It's an ARRRRRRRchitect

Most of our clients are arrrrrchitects, and we're very grateful to work with some of the very best. 

As I was finishing my senior year at BYU, I had fleeting thoughts of getting an MS in architecture - until I discovered that it would take 3 more years compared to only one more year for an MS in engineering.  With 2 kids already and another on the way, it was easy to make the decision to stay in engineering - and I'm glad I did.  I love what I do, and I would hate to try to compete with the creativity I see from the architects we work with.

For another cartoon poking a little fun at architects, click here.

Missing

We're often called upon to do the impossible: predict precisely when the owner will get his building permit.  We may know about how long it's recently been taking on average to get through the system, but each project is different.  In the minds of some owners, any "guesstimate" we offer is a firm commitment.

Sometimes a desperate owner will insist we "do something to get me my permit".  Surely "you  can make a phone call or go down there and..." 

We might be able to call in a favor now and then, but really there's not much we can do to expedite the permitting process - put together a complete set of documents is the main thing (though even that's no guarantee our plans won't get nit-picked to death by an overzealous planchecker).  For the most part we have to wait in line just like everyone else. 

Maybe this idea will speed things up.

__________________________________________________________________________________ 

Credit for this one goes to an email from Matt Ryba, CEO of TWC Construction:

 

Brent,

I thought I would share the humor in an email I sent to [our roof truss supplier and installer] when they missed their truss delivery date.  I don't know if you take suggestions on your cartoons but several people have suggested I forward to you.

        Rob,

        "I was in the Quick Mart this morning getting coffee and I saw this in the cooler"

Final Notice!

Consultants are in a tough spot.  We don't get paid until our client gets paid -and if he gets stiffed, we're usually also out of luck.  To add to it, some people view the architect and engineer as no recourse, zero-interest lending institutions who will finance their project on a handshake for an indefinite period until they "get funding."  If the funding never comes through - "Sorry about that.  But good news! I have this other project I'd like you to fund, er I mean do.  When can you get started?"

20/20 Hindsight

If only I'd put on a pair of foresight corrective lenses just before making some of the dumber decisions in my life... 

For another cartoon on "corrective" lenses, click here.