Big Enough Fer The Both of Us

If only they'd built those old west towns a bit bigger, there might have been a lot fewer gunfights. 

I can see it now:  Two rough characters square off at twenty paces in the middle of town wearing tool belts and slinging nail guns.  "This here town just ain't big enough fer the both of us", one would say, "so me 'n my gang'll start buildin' over there and you'n yer gang c'n build over here." 

Jedi Construction Tricks

I guess you can't blame this guy for trying.  The inspector's probably thinking to himself, "You think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that? I'm an inspector.  Mind tricks don't work on me.  Only right. No right, no pass!"

Sometimes we humble engineers are asked to work some Jedi magic, like when we get an urgent phone call from the jobsite with the superintendent on the other end saying, "We accidentally forgot to put any rebar in the footings and walls and now the inspector won't pass us.  Can you just get me a letter for that?" 

For more cartoons with inspectors and "...can you get me a letter for that?" click here.

My Plan...

We need to get our politicians talking about the stuff that really matters - like this!  It reminds me of the speech Pedro Sanchez gave when he was running for class president in the movie Napoleon Dynamite:  "If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. Thank you."

Seriously, I'm grateful to those brave souls who are willing to run for public office.  Let's just hope those who get elected remember that they're public servants, not the people's master.

CYA PPE

CYA (cover your a_ _ or as I say it, cover your "anatomy") is like the ridiculous warning label on a microwave oven that says, "NOT TO BE USED FOR DRYING PETS".  The reason for this CYA PPE is usually blamed on our "litigious society", though statistics seem to indicate that we may not be as litigious as we think.  Either way - reality or perception - the fear of litigation can lead to excessive caution, absurd warning labels, and a lot of CYA.   And when people act defensively for the sole reason of avoiding liability, it costs everyone time and money.

SUPER-intendent

This guy's obviously enthusiastic about his job title - and proud of it.  I say good for him!  If being super-enthusiastic and unashamed to show it makes you a nerd, then so be it.  As John Green observed, "When people call people nerds, mostly what they're saying is 'You like stuff', which is not an insult at all".  It's people who are super excited about things that make the world an interesting place.

Neil Armstrong was commander of Apollo 11 and the first man to set foot on the moon, yet he was a self-professed nerd who was in love with math and science and engineering. "I am," he said, "and ever will be, a white-socks, pocket protector, nerdy engineer. Born under the Second Law of Thermodynamics, ...in love with free body diagrams, transformed by Laplace and propelled by compressible flow... Science is about what is. Engineering is about what can be." (See a terrific short video with his complete quote here)

You go! Mr. SUPERintendent... We nerds need to stick together.

Conflict of Interest



I see no problem here...  This fox looks like he's a vegetarian.

Saw it on YouTube

How'd anyone ever make it before YouTube?  This guy's got the idea - why waste your time on a degree and on-the-job training when you can bypass all that stuff and just watch how to do it on YouTube!  If someone ever posts some YouTube videos on how to engineer a building, I might be out of a job. 

Thought He'd Save Money

The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.

This poor guy learned the hard way that saving pennies by hiring the lowest priced designer could greatly increase bottom-line costs.  Quality design requires adequate time and the right people to do it.  Cut-rate design may still "work", but often the final cost of the project is many times greater than the small difference in fee between the best designer and the cheap guy.

For a bunch of similar cartoons poking fun at the notion that cheap is really cheaper, click on the "Cheap" category link on the right sidebar.

"There is nothing more expensive than hiring cheap engineers."

                               - Bob Sheeran, Xavier University

Volume's waaaay up!

It feels like we have to compete with this guy a lot more than we should.  He's like the farmer who grew watermelons for $2.00 each, sold them for $1.75, and decided the way he could make more money was to get a bigger truck!

Will Knotchange

I'm a believer that to be the best we must continually strive for improvement and that we can't become what we want by remaining what we are.  And it's impossible to improve if we're not open to change.  We all know people who are so blindly confident or set in their ways that they refuse to consider that there may be a better way.  It's even worse if that person pretends to be open to change, but they have no intention of actually following through.  Those people drive me crazy.  This one's for them.

For cartoons of more people like this guy, click here and here. 

Reindeer Games

I've seen enough Christmas shows to know that Santa's elves are always studious and hard at work making toys in the workshop, but the reindeer?  They have nothing to do except for one night a year.

With all that time on their hands, they've got to do something to keep themselves entertained.

A "Ninjaneer"

Credit for this one goes to Tye Havey, our partner who oversees Wright Engineers' two Arizona offices.  Here's the email exchange:

Tye: Cartoon Idea:  Sometimes I walk quietly  - or come in through a back door - or forget to tell someone when I'm coming or going.  We've started calling me a 'ninja-neer'.  Seems like it could be adapted for a good cartoon somehow.

Me: (with cartoon attached) The fruit of your inspiration.  He does sorta look like you.

Tye: I love it.  And yes, it looks a lot like me in my pajamas :)

All I know is I wouldn't want to mess with an engineer with serious "plan"-chuck skills.

Inspected and Special Inspected!

Last month's cartoon showed a high schooler sandwich inspector proudly serving up a BLT.  This time it seemed like a good idea to add a special inspector.  After all, if one inspection is good, two's gotta be twice as good, right?  Especially if it's a designer gourmet sandwich - no way you can trust the plain old inspector to make sure it's whole grain bread and real mayo.

As a structural engineer, I certainly appreciate the need for special inspection on critical elements of a project (and since we offer special inspection services, I'm very glad it's required) - but I can't help feeling a bit bad for the plain old inspector.  Do we not trust him?  The way things are going, one day the poor guy'll be out of  a job unless he becomes more... well, special.

And if you think it's bad for the plain old inspector, consider the poor mason.  Unless his masonry work is inspected by BOTH the plain old inspector AND a special inspector, his work is trusted to be only HALF as strong as it could be.  Talk about a lack of confidence in your work.  It's a wonder they all don't have a complex.

For all the abuse the inspector gets, though, he can hold his head high knowing that in a very real way he's helping to make his community a better and safer place.  All you have to do is read about the horrific death toll due to collapsed buildings after almost every earthquake in a third-world country to appreciate the quality construction the inspector is enforcing.  He or she deserves a hug.

For more cartoons having fun at the expense of our inspector friends, click here.

Inspected!

I'm a believer that the best way to make sure a job is done well is to build quality into every system and process.  That prevents most problems from ever occurring.  An inspection to catch mistakes after its all done is good, but it's much better (and cheaper and faster) to not make those mistakes in the first place.

This cartoon reminds me of Sunday dinner at my house.  Most Sunday afternoons, all 17 of our kids and grandkids gather at our house for dinner.  As the little ones play, the adults assemble in the kitchen to prepare the meal.  I personally provide so much "quality control" while we're cooking that sometimes I'm no longer hungry by the time the meal's finally ready.

I thought it would be fun to show a high schooler proudly delivering a fully "quality inspected" sandwich to his customer.  At least he can personally attest that it is delicious.

For more inspector cartoons, click here.

What Are You Thinking?

Occasionally builders complain (and sadly, sometimes justifiably so) that an engineer or architect they know can draw pretty pictures, but he doesn't have a clue how to actually build anything.  And it's worse when that engineer doesn't know he doesn't know and insists that the builder just "build it how it's drawn." 

...and it's even worse if the engineer can only communicate in "engineerese".

On the flip side, it's not uncommon to hear an engineer gripe that the builder on such and such a project needs a lot of "hand holding", or that he fires off dozens of "duh" RFIs which the engineer could answer with, "Did you not even look at the drawings?"

It's a love-hate relationship.  Depending on the day, mostly love.

It IS An Emergency!

You can't blame the poor guy.  He's got his trailer onsite and his crews and equipment ready to go.  All he needs now is the construction drawings so he can git 'er dun. 

Unfortunately, the design team is still revising the revised version of the last revisions that will now need to be revised once the owner stops changing his mind.  ...again.

For more "It's an emergency!" cartoons, click here or here.

Here's My 2 Weeks Notice...

Good thing this guy's giving those 2 weeks notice - he sure wouldn't want to leave his employer in a bad spot.

...and he's got to stay on good terms just in case his new job doesn't work out.

Who can blame him for at least partially mentally checking out after giving notice, but...

I see the problem

No doubt this poor guy's an engineer. 

...or an architect.

We just can't help ourselves, though - we love to solve problems, even when it's not necessarily in our best interest.  It's one of the things I love about design professionals.  It's also one of the things that drive me crazy, especially when engineers that work for me (or architects we work for) are so focused on solving the client's problems that they forget a minor little thing like sending out a bill so we can all get paid.

Going Manual

These days, if the computer's down, nothing gets done.  Thankfully, there's Etch A Sketch - the pioneer in flat panel monitors.  ...and they're sleek and energy efficient!  Besides, if you're doing a piping diagram, it looks a lot like Etch A Sketch anyway.  

This guy's like the solitaire-playing receptionists who had to "go manual" with actual playing cards since their computers were down. 

GOT GRAY?

Sometimes you need some "gray hair" on your project.  After all, they've supposedly already seen it all, done it all, and made all their mistakes long ago - on someone else's project.

Gray hair is hair you can trust - and having lots of it (or for some, at least remnants of it) can be an advantage for us humble engineers.  I was "blessed" with enough gray hair in my mid- twenties that I could easily pass for someone ten years older.  More than 20 years later, I still claim to be in my "late, late twenties".  It must be a genetic trait (the age claim I mean) - my mom still turns 21 again every March 6th.

This cartoon was inspired by a project with a particularly cantankerous owner's rep who insisted we put "more gray hair" on his project - after all, how could some young whippersnapper with a full head of "immature" hair, an engineering degree, and "only" a decade of experience with similar successful projects possibly be trusted?

Good news for that owner's rep:  dealing with him caused the young whippersnappers to sprout a few gray hairs of their own.